quality time....

...with my history packet sucks.

Should i care about jewish messianism in the first and second century or do another post..... i'll take the latter.

if you don't already know that mike gibbs makes the best beats ever, get yo heard right. just sayin'...

Question #1: What happened to formspring?

it seems to have disappeared...

Question #2: Would you rather stay for 10 more minutes and have to watch middle school lose to GA or would you rather go to riddas?

Riddas please!

Question #3: Was it just me or did the freshman sound tone deaf today?

YOU DECIDE!

Question #4: Doest it seem like all these top 100's always seem to have some jank bp's in them? Better yet, where did these lists come from and why do they say top 100 and have 150?

SIMPLE ADDITION MATTERS...

IT'S TIME FOR JARRED'S FUN FACTS!! (insert applause)

NUMBA ONE: I CAN'T SPELL CORRECTLY ALL THE TIME !

NUMBA TEW: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WEAVE WAS TILL LAST YEAR ! (insert gasps)

NUMBA TREE: I FOUND MY BURSH !

NUMBA FO': "I DON'T APPROVE OF ALL THIS FREEKY DEEKY STUFF PEOPLE DO THESE DAYS" MIZZ MCDANIEL-TURNER

it's about that time again, where i leave and don't show up for another week, runnin' on that tnt with some interesting stuff....

shout outz to ally d :D

I bid you all adieu,

jHt

sorry tess

i'm extra lazy

From grimey jack and jill parties to prom oand choir concerts, i get extra lazy.

Lets get an overview of things that have occured...

1. PROM:

• It was crazy.
• it popped.
• It was in camden.
• i took way too many pictures...
• rita saw me dancing... awkward..

2. SCHOOL:

• teachers are trippin.
• they're tryna get me before the year is over
• fuck jr. project
• countdown has started

3. CHOIR:

• i sing more days a week than i learn
• its a varsity program according to steve
• chris sounds like an african when he sings
• imma miss the choir seniors.

which means my momma is trippin'! at least my dad is cookin all this food.. haa

shout outz to all my followers and believers.

one day when im actually famous, you'll all get the shout out you deserve...

DEUCEZZ

ASDFGHJKL;

'ZXCVBNM,./

QWERTYUIOP[]

1234567890-=`

JT $

i promize thAt I'Ll tRy nd KeEp YalL UpDateD On mY Ish

Girl Rite Thur Got Bussed On!!!

BUSSED ON BU BUSSED ON.

Ha. But this time literally..

On friday April 16th, at some random firehouse in conshohocken, multiple people got BUSSED on while at a dance. To be exact, in the general stomach region, and no I did not see these things, they were told to me.. As well, several people were caught copulating on the dance floor as well. This is what happens when crazy black folk get together at a party on friday night playin nothin but gettin it music the whole night.. TRIFE!!!!!

partymusic+dance+blackpeople+pitchblackness=weave all over the floor + stampede for free water

Something else that amazed me recently was seeing a picture of the "ooh op"..

Some quotes that I find enjoyable:

"NO! That doesnt sound like fun, it sounds like a zoo"

"They were making pancakes"

"Chris Golsun looks like that old african picture"

"I'm on the pill so everythings fine" Tess....

"Hit it till you skeet"

I also created a new verb, to chris golsun. you may wonder what is this fool talking about. To chris golsun is to be excessively loud and while singing be really really loud but on key. hmm......

Fogo de Chão is unhealthy if you stay there for four hours.......

I stay on my tnt. I got to choir at 2:50 and it started at 2 and at 3:40 we got a break. Cupcakes.

4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20 4/20

Have fun y'all

-JT

Shout out to ALINA BAMBS.

good life

Hello all, i am back! and on my cellular device. I have been living the good life like kanye said, so there hasnt been anything crazy or absurd for me to talk about. Here's a check up: i got into a night class for Essentially english, im taking my drivers test soon, im going to fogo de chao on saturday for t-rex's bday. i mispelled prodigy "pordigy", and i finally got a haircut! Now i dont look like such a koon and my nap is gone! HALLELUJAH LAWD. tennis season so far has been a skruuuugle, i have yet win a singles match. In academic standing, i just shit on the last chemistry test and now i have 100% average. The Lord is good. With all these new free's i have been on my presidential tip.. This weekend was very interesting to say the least. I was one of the few negroes at lela's sweet 16 which was very interesting in itself. i felt very awkward especially because they didnt play any of that devil music. people were 'wilin' as usual and shit popped off that had me dyingg. no i was not shot. althought it did not how you say "pop", i found it quite enjoyable. Saturday was when i got my peas and corn cut off cause i gots ta stay fresh mayne. Today my father made rhibs and chicken and he sure did put his foot in'em!! and i had to do the rediculous amount of history that was assigned . Oh, i am also in the market for some duggy shoes to work on my shoe game, please help me. I have also opened an escort service for prom. my clientel include clay, nick, theresa, tess and myself. if you are interesed in one of my escorts, please inbox me on facebook or contact me somehow. I almost forgot whos i met this weekend, Z's mother while i was working on satyrday at josh cohen's house for west mount airy neighbors. hmmm............ Well thats all for now... deucez {mediatakeout}

A Film Review

I am assuming everyone is familiar with the short film "Yun Frankenstein" for a short film it was full of quality outtakes and the actor portraying Victor did a good job with that english accent. And the use of that wooden spoon was clever as well. All of you are wondering why i am blogging about this, we watched this in english on the last day before break. Yes I know it is over a year old, fuck you. Is there a Yun Othello? I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Speaking of Othello, we also watched "O" a contemporary version of Othello and it was very interesting how they both use the darkest of dark black people to portray Othello. What if he was a high yellow (pronounced yellar) or a brown? Why must he be as black as night? hmm?? Think about that.

Speaking of being black as night, one of the side affects of being black in heat, the back uh yo neck gonna look like tar! beware...

I also was on karmaloop.com looking at some kicks, you gotta keep yo shoe game tight playa, and saw some very classy shoes. I added them to this post and they're gonna show up somewhere, I don't know where, I'm not Ari with this shit.

I was also watching these youtube videos about this british bloke trying foods for some reason, here are some of them, i suggest you watch them all, they're quality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcg7gm3HWXY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_SF0l_iQio&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z2nblD45Ic&feature=channel

sorry to my caucasian viewers, but some of yall are just straight crazy..

I have decided to leave you all today with a little riddle:

¿What other words can you get from GINGER?

"You know what goes really well with ribs? Blunts." - A Wise Man

Arivouir PUTA CHINGADOS

jht

p.s. if the pictures don't show up here are the urls

http://www.karmaloop.com/products.aspx?ProductID=88360&VendorCode=COV

http://www.karmaloop.com/products.aspx?ProductID=88722&VendorCode=SUP&mybuyscid=9804430332

HALLELUJAH!

iT IS THE FIRST OF THE MONTH AND WE OT OUR WELFARE CHECK SO MY PARENTS COULD PAY THE INTERNET BILL!!! Just kidding, I am allowed to use the daggone computer again!!!


And its spring break!!!! woooooooo!

i missed my license test, again for the third time. hopefully it will be before my permit expires,,,who knows...

I visited NYU and Columbia with Theresa aka Trex and unfortunately Christopher Golsan..// But as always, New York popped! and now im tryna go to college there maybe// who knows...?

Anyways, on my time spent on the ld (lockdown), i have had time to actually do my work without distractions!!! a miracle,, siiiiike the distractions made everyhting less monotanous, you like that vocab. Haha. I have been able to read in my spare time over break and on weekends, i have actually finished two books! In terms of television, there isi nothing of quality on during the day, therefore i have been watching Avatar, Invader Zim, El Tigre and various other nick toons. If we had the movie package with showtime, starz, max and that other one, i could be watching some free scary movies because HBO is weak.

On a sad note, I was assigned art homework, and if you didnt know i struuuuuuuuuggle with some art... therefore i have decided against taking it nex year.

I am on the shitty dell there fore i have to leave, it is dying. Say a prayer porfavor.

Hallelujah from the heart of God that I have returned from the dead.


Deuce(z) JT

From the misty depths I have returned

Peep my title yo'. im on my phone, again....shit is ruuuufffff. alex just drove us on the expressway and he was half decent. Oh dear gracious followers, i feel like a negligant parent it has been so long... i would like to tell you all my life has been uneventful and very boring for the past three weeks. one thing that is very interesting is that this will be the most racist season ever. its me, kyle, nick davis, clay, and mike feldman is our captain aka "massa feldman". i find racism quite comical, which is probably a bad thing....oh welll. back to my soliloquy. deuce mufuckazzz. jt

my condolences

dear followers, it has been a rough winter, and a rough couple of weeks.

i have been extremely inconsistent with these posts and for that, i am ashamed... as you all know about my situation, this will probably be my last post for a while...

i would like to give a shout out to all those who have been faithful followers and i will proceed to give people shout outs as well...

Yessica: holaa yess hi jailbird WENCH! jk jk lubb u tew. You were a very nice person, may you prosper

Clay: although your ignorant, and will always be, you were a good friend

Nick Davis: read above

Kyle: keep on keepin it 100. do you

Bridgét: i will always appreciate the fact of you inspiring me to make a blog

i know im forgetting other people, and im sorry.

deucezz wench(es)

siempre, JT

I have returned

....From the depths of chemistry. It was a hard battle, but I think I have won. I hope i did.

It has been a rough winter my dear followers. a very rough winter.....

Things that are poppining:

1. When Jay Q and Christopher have "disagreement" i die, from laughter
2. candy corn
3. falling asleep in spanish class after doing 3 1/2 rounds of coke, with rosario
4. talking with brea hall
5. leanring life lessons from yessica and kyle like things about swagger jacking
6. not reading othello
7. latinas

Things that are trifling:

1. sierra carter gorden
2. christopher goldson
3. HOW DO PEOPLE GET CAUGHT ON TAKE HOME MATH TESTS AND THEN GET CAUGHT CHEATING ON IT AT SCHOOL?! i dont understand...
4. My parents

On a nother note, did you hear about how John Mayer said that he has a white supremacist dick?!? thats real triflin..... And that is not true, everyone has a lil jungle fever or what i call la fiebre de la selva. But really, how ignorant is it to say that you have a racist dick, in a magazine, when most of your fans are black.....thats really really ignorant.

BrIdEt Feely is really funny too. 6:29 alright i have to go make this money i mean go grocery shopping. Does this mean you have been pimping hoes? or pimping Gus? hmm...

I have been meaning to put Ka$ha Ka at maxyorep and Noah her boo in a post. i just did it. and Manolo is a kinda nice person, unlike kevin who is a douche.

Samie is too funny. according to her my new nick name is Mediatakout or DR. J...hmmm

Well, Its been really "popping" words and catch frases.

D-D-D-D-DEEUCE [WENCHES]

JT

A Brief Update.

Hello followers,

it has been a while at least it must have been because bridget said that i need some new posts... I just got home from the act/sat comparison tests. It was a struggle... Im doing this on my phone because i love yall so much. for those who dont know, i have a square etch a sketch phone. i have been on my chill since the snow came. what a needed break.

i just got my report card, THROW SUM D'Z ON DAT BITCH!!! siiike nawwwwww. i put in work this quater. i think im addicted to brown suga pop tarts.

i wud perciate if yuh wud do me a favuh nd subscribe to dis blog.

deuuucee, trickz. Y.H.T

stupid clubs at gfs

I am a hater, hear me roar

I understand people want to put on a college résumé that they created a club, but be realistic, why create a club that you know will only be around for one year? Biracial club, Music club, LOST club, and all you other random clubs are pointless. Why clog up student news with clubs that don’t have many people?.

i am a hater & i dont care.

{>J&H&T<}

no post today

i spent the majority of my day at choir.

enjoy this tid-bit.

Hemiola-a rhythmic pattern of syncopated beats with two beats in the time of three or three beats in the time of two.

OR
-when a woman makes her ass clap

By Nick Fromell

That dance was horrid, but I really don't remember that much so whatever...

i still looked fresh.

i wanna give a shoutout to EVE MAXSON, ALINA ESQUINEAAZI (bridg-et told me shes mehicano ay q rico), SAMI CLARK FOR BEING AMAZING AND OTHER PEOPLE WHO WANTED ME TO GIVE THEM A SHOUTOUT.

I WOULD LIKE TO BATTLE SOMEONE IN DMACING POR FAVOR

DOMINIQUE WHERE WERE YOU MY MAN?

THE THERESA CHARLOTTE SARAH CREW ARE AN INTERESTING BUNCH

I TALK TO BRE-AM HALL TOO MUCH, SHE A HOE

BETSY DAISY KEVIN AND SOME OTHER BLURRY FACE LEFT THE DANCE EARLY TO DO SOME RISKY BUSINESS OR AT LEAST I'M ASSUMING

KEVIN FOUND HIS PHONE

I ARRIVED ON T-N-T TO CHOIR AS USUAL

LIZ MACOLINO'S EX WAS CREEPIN AT THE DANCE!

BRIAN RIGGS IS TRYING TO MAKE ME GO TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE

IF YOU A BLACK, ANSWER THIS, DO OR HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED FOR A TIME TO USE THE BLACK CARD?

MY FARM ON FARMVILLE IS KINDA LIKE A BIG DEAL

TESS DOGGETT WAS LATE TO CHOIR BECAUSE SHE WAS ON THE CORNOR MAKIN HER MONEY

JAY QUERY IS A SLAVE MASTER FROM 300 YEARS AGO

JASON IS JEREMIH

FROM NOW ON IF YOUR NAME STARTS WITH A J IT WILL BE STARTING WITH A Y

THIS HAS BEEN A ROUUUUGH WINTER!

D

E

U

C

E

Z

TU AMANTE MEJOR

(_i_put_a_hurt'n_on em_ya_diiiiiig?>)

BLACK FOLK ARE WIIIIILIN!

Dear Followers,

I would like to say to you all that i have (used to until this post) as many followers as posts. This makes me very happy erryone. Now if you keep it that way well be cool.. and for those of you who like to read this without following it (bridget feely), you dissappoint me. C'mon! are you embarrassed to follow this rite here?! YEP YO SHIT.

Today when I got on the computer there were videos up from this morning about people fighting in germantown....aaah germantown. But anyways, i watched them and boy oh boy, they were wiiiiilin, hence the title of this post. Now these videos made me laugh soo much. I'll post them at the end of this thing so you will understand what I'm talkin about.

But on another note, lets discuss Flirty Girl Fitness...

WHAT THE FUCK!? Now this is supposed to be a "workout" thing that teaches you to be "flirty", if you call dancing on poles and chairs "flirty", to mean that means "stripper". This is supposed to make these chicks go from flabby or whatever to pole dancing. What happened to Jenny Craig hm? If you want to be in shape, dance on a pole, and get paid, be a stripper! smh...

here are those videos i promised...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE9_UXZmCb0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGxZeCaCmcc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfJkzpI1f8w&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZfcl6YoCKc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_VzOdygDDw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_xVHhxFBkY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyuHWNDPrGE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlROhvdHHLU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl6Nx1WG710&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vd3SiVVAtSU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzskGYCkzYU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TifaFH9wteE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEMhkfU3s90&feature=related

i guess this is enough...

p.s. weave will be flying! lol

Deucez

JT

dis isnt as good as my original of this but that one disappeared when my safari froze :(

who is mkaulbach? who is james pabarue? tell me the asnwers to dese tings

goodness gracious

Dear Followers,

today was an eventful day, we watched the Great Negro Debaters with Ted in anglish and we almost had a test in spanish class because we did too many rounds of coke with Rosario. jaja. But seriously, we did too many rounds of coke...

But besides that, random mess occured and we have course sign up for next year for those seniors out there your lucky your done, for those juniors, meh you know what it is... and for those sophmores, be smart cause i don't want anyone having a mental break down next year...shoot....

I would also like to show my appreciation for the folk who have followed my blog, I have (before this post), one follower per post, this makes me proud. I would like to give Tess Dogggett a shoutout for telling me she followed ma shit. and for da others out dere dat have already followed dis shit. Thnkz Mucho.

Now it is time for a look in the life uh Jurred Turnah.

Tuhday I axidentally calt mi madre crazy and she beat dat AZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! lawl but reali tho she beat my behind.. then i went to my room and slept. Rewind a good 3 hours or so. I saw mista Mubashshir in the computer room! It was crazy. You all know that he has secret powers of mind control and super ninja moves right? Well youse should..

I would also like to interject that i don't think that my video posts are quality, what do yall think? comment (please) and give me your point of view i would really appreciate it.

but anyways, has anyone ever wondered how on video games they only have 2 options for black people hair and they have 3 options for skin tone? Take for example farmville, I have the option to choose between an Afro dreds. Well the predicament is that i dont have either, i have that good good low cut wit da waves, but of course, that is not an option. For the skin tones, they have high yellow, brown, and dark brown. Oh looky there, I'm specifically a yellow bone but not high yellow like jessica but not a brown like jason, I'm a few shades darker than kyle (for reference). See how complicated it is to be black?! *SIIIIIIIGH*

I would like to explain why my blog posts are inconsistant. I AM BLACK, I HAVE SPORACDIC TENDENCIES WHERE MY TRIFLING BLACKNESS BUILDS UP TO A LEVEL WHERE I SHUT DOWN ALL PURPOSE OF DOING THINGS ON TIME AND I PUT THINGS OFF UNTIL LATER RESULTING IN LARGE BLOG POSTS ABOUT MANY THINGS. sorry, its a medical condition...

also i would like to mention that the philly chapter of jack and jill is having a dance on the 13th of March, its gonna pop. DJ Freak Nasty is the DJ its down town at penn Houston Hall specifically. I'm selling tickets:$10 each, $15 dollars at the door. COME CORRECT!! no tim's, beaters, white tees, you know what it is....you know where to find me if your interested.

thank you for your time, i appreciate it.

DEUCE

JT

how was you friday?

snow day numba 3!

IS STRUGGLIN'!!!!!!! I GOTTA LET YALL KNOW!

Dear Beloved Followers,

Sorry this took so long, my mom wanted me to read and she took the cord to the desktop.

Is it just me, or is it when you have so many snow days even your parents are like you gotta get the hell outta my house. My parents are sooo crazy and funny sometimes. My mom was like your black behind has got to get out of my house. hahaha. I saw Caleb Rau running cuz he is apart of that cult called XC. I keep it 100% here and yes, it is a cult. Anyways you know its time to do something different when your conversations on AIM get boring with people who you usually have fun talking to i.e. Jessica Moody, Shes funny, but ain't nothin poppin off to talk about. Sorry if i bother you too missus.

Yesterday I wen to the Shropshire's and we were chillin and then Sarah Bergman came over nd then we all went on a trek to da Co-Op. It was closed but her dad got us the hook up. Haha. Fast forward 2 1/2 hours walking in the blizzard. We end up at Riley Tarver's house and low and behold Iris Williamson is there as well. We peace out and go back to T-Rex's house and get warm and wait for those two to journey over. Then when they finally arrived, shit popped off. I started telling Theresa how horrible of a person she is because she and Dom broke up and quite a few people agreed with my statement.

Oh and for further notice, here is a disclaimer: IF YOU GO OVER TO THE SHROPSHIRES', DON'T GO THERE HUNGRY AND DON'T EXPECT FOOD, THERE WILL BE NONE, BRING FOOD TO CONSUME. I end up feeding them and them I mean Sam and Theresa.

Back on track,,,,,,,At 7'oclock eastern timeish the Turner Household lost all power. Mis padres wanted that Yo y el Hermano returno to the casa. I rebelled by calling the house severval times with threats to call child services. In the end, they pleaded defeat. HAHAHAH. juuust kidding. They were like deuces. Fast forward several hours later. At 11:30 Post Meridan Time on the East Coast of the United States of America, in Philadelphia P.A., the inhabitants of 6601 Wissahickon Ave., decided to do something absolutely CRACK HEADISH. They, meaning my father, drove to my location and hit up Alexander's Cellular and said "Get your a**'s into this d*mn car, People are trying to get by me" utterly dazed and confused, we said our deuces to Riley, Iris, T-Rex, Sarah and Sam and left. WHO PICKS UP SOMEONE AT 11:30 AT NIGHT WHEN THEY ARE CHILLIN WITH PEOPLE. AUNT DIANE AND UNCLE KENNY COULD HAVE BEEN ALSEEP. I COULD BE ALSEEP. why interrupt my chilling, to pick me up when you could do it in the morning when its safer. Then we got stuck in a snow bank and then he drove like a lil bitch the whole way back. SHIT. Way to fuck up my night. But i got home and ate some food cause there is no shropshires food in the house. jajaja (my lil spanish laugh).

daggone...

What a night.

What a today.

What a blog.

More to come tomorrow if my mom doesn't take the computer cord, again.

¿Follow me?

to all the people who are creepin' on my shit and not official followers, you are a bitch, follow my shit. I'm trying to make my quota.

DEUCES,

have a great snowday and 7 day weekend errybody.

JT

(using all those patters were labor intensive. notice the JT in spring like colors because I want this winter to be over.)

blizzard!

Dear Followers and random people who view my blog without becoming a follower,

I am walking a good mile to theresa's house. I hope that the lord will watch over me while i walk out into this white oblivion. I will return later, hopefully.

Peace & Blessings,

J. H. Turner

snow day and weezy

wellll, fuck posting videos i can't stand them. im back to writing the old fashioned way.

i would like to put some people on blast right now as well. SECRETS ARE POINTLESS IF I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOUR KEEPING FROM ME, STOP BEING A CHILD AND TELL ME. SHIT.

anyways, i hate GFS, it makes me miserably and i would like to give a shout out to all the mofos who go to college this year; yall are really lucky, im stuck in this piece of shit. enjoy your freedom.

a topic for discussion is Lil' Wayne going to jail. How the hell is he not in jail already is the real question. really though, he negro behind is always talking about snorting coke, sippin that sizzurp and partaking in marijuana all the time. if i were a police officer, i would pull him over nd search him for some drugs and get my paycheck shoot. also, birdman sounds like a retard always makin' all those dumb noises, he must have turrets syndrome. but back on topic, lil wayne isnt even gonna go to the real jail anyways so it must not be that bad....

on another note, my family are the most annoying poeple to live with, they are always trying to clean something, mind someones business or just do something to piss me off. no i am not going to bed at 11 because i dont have school tomorrow. no i dont want to clean up the kitchen because you only cleaned up twho things alex. yes, i am going upstairs mother because i live in this house too. WHO ASKS SOMEONE WHERE THEY ARE GOING IN THEIR OWN HOUSE?!?!!? i feel like the one in jail, forget lil weezy... This oppresion needs to end.

as well it has been snowing like a mofo recently and i would like to ask the lord why, why he would make it snow when it was a saturday and why so late in the winter? i am ready for spring now lord, it would be nice instead of major snow, we could have a lil sleet or a light rain once in awhile...some people like the snow, and good for them, they should move to canada or some where far up north in the middle of nowhere, but in good ol' illadephia, i would prefer it to be on the hotter side, you know, like good ATL shawty.

Well, to everyone I hope that you all enjoy your snowday's and find it restful and full of hooka and brownies.

Yours thoughtfully,

Peace & Blessings,

J. H. Turner

DEUCES WENCH

JT

p.s. Samie is the best baker. Hit her up for some delicious pastries.

Screwed Up videos

So Hungry